I've got a heart, I swear I do,
But just not, baby, when it comes to you

Curiosity killed the cat...

So I guess I'm just lucky I'm not a cat then... (:

Internets will now make it a LOT easier to talk, and who knows, I might even get on msn once in a while :P

So, you know, whenever you wanna talk, just let me know... (:


"Curiouser, and curiouser...."

Well THAT was awkward...

Tonight was fun.
I'm gonna miss you guys so so much.
And not just the people there, but people who weren't there too.




For those that want to, keep in touch. Somehow.

http://hereswhatyouare.com/

One day....

We all need somebody to lean on

So, last night was pretty good, and I'm glad I decided to go, but there were still a few things...

So it was probably the first time in forever that I've been out with friends and not had a spell of depression, that I've not purposefully pulled myself away because I felt so lonely. That really is an achievement, so thank you!

There was one point though, where for the first time in ages I've had to consciously force myself to smile, because what was wrong wasn't worth the drama ruining the night.

And admittedly, if there had only been one thing different, I wouldn't have gone, because I didn't want things to be awkward.

Uhhmmm I think that's all.
Though I'd really like ot not leave early next time (: If I go, anyway.

Oh, and did I mention I feel horrible today?

Kagami, kagami

Mirror, mirror
Reflect my withering heart
Mirror, oh mirror,
Who’s crying voice can break you?
Mirror, mirror
Reflect my grotesque mind
Mirror, oh mirror,
Who’s the loneliest on earth?

i want to say everything and nothing to you, so you, please speak to me.

I found this just then...

In all forms of life – whether it is found through literature, music, artworks or common life acts the human persona is exposed to – one is drawn into awe by a subject. Whether that subject is living or abiotic, one sees the positive nature of the said subject and adores both its desirable and its less desirable traits. This is much the case with the enigma of Jacqui Colefax. Through the period of time in knowing such an ‘awesome’ character within the social confides of estranged friendships, the qualities she encompasses such as her capacity to accept people straight away, be modest and deny her awesomeness make her all the more awe inspiring and respectable as one of the most awesome minds I currently know.

Initially when meeting someone new in one’s life, you’d presume a degree of haphazardly and hesitates when approaching them. Silence may ensue and awkward actions may halt and inevitably impair any friendship or relationship occurring. This was not the case with Jacqui Colefax. Jacqui, instead of doing this and making one look merely dumb and idiotic, took on the first impressions and grasped the opportunity for her personality to flourish and be exposed. Within the confides of the night, she managed to pour large amounts of water down people’s backs, run around on a road, strike people down with plastic lightsabers and also enjoyed everyone’s company. One may comment saying that this is utter tripe and contrived works of an alien, though this comment is damaged by her actions on the night that we all know happened. One may have hit their head on a pole but the memories of her actions were remembered as previously said and thus illuminates her degree of awesomeness.

Conversely, Jacqui Colefax is reserved enough to degrade her own awesomeness when praised for it. In this manner, it is safe to say how modest a person she is. In accordance to this we can refer to an instance that happened just prior to the composition of this pointless essay. Virtually, one stated that she was clearly awesome, yet her modesty prevailed and she continued to argue against the honest truth. This may be argues as complete lunacy on her part denying such an obvious fact, but merely it was her reflecting a degree of modesty unheard of in most people, let alone life forms. In this instance, it is safe to say that she is truly an awesome character and vital cog in the social dynamic of the world; how the hell would the world be without her. To be blunt, it would be far less honest, less wet and less modest and fun than it should be.

On a more “deeper’ scale *as said in a deep male and foreboding voice like in the movies :O* , she is selfless and a fantastic friend to have in anyone’s group of peers. Her overwhelming compassion to let her best friend date a d scoundrel alien like me may be down to ignorance :O….or may be down to the fact that she knows that I can do good for someone else. For this I can empathise and also thank her nature for bring other people joy and more notably considered more awesome than most people.


Alas, the enigma that is Jacqui Colefax is one of complex understanding, but worthy of ones time. Her overwhelming degree of compassion, empathy and modesty make her all the more worth knowing as a person and a friend and whom should be congratulated on her degree of awesomeness which in truth is rather unnatural.



Don't know if it still relates but..just thought I'd share.

It still makes me smile though. As much as it also kinda hurts to know that that time is no more.

My fatal flaw?

"you have a big personality, it clouds the better of u."

Not quite sure what it means, or how to take it. Some interpretations would be nice x)

Well...

Do you miss me when I’m gone?
Do you sometimes feel like there’s something missing when I’m not there?
Have I made any sort of impact on you, on your life?
Could you live without me?
Could you know I’m out there, knowing that I was just a phone call away?
What would you do if we randomly met on the street in 4, 5 years time?
Do you think of me when we haven’t spoken for some time?

Essentially, I’m asking, what am I to you?

Don't act like you know me
Because truth is that you don't

It'd just be nice to hear SOMETHING from you.

Fuck, if this is it, then just say it. I'm really really getting sick of waiting around for something from you when all you've been doing is ignoring me. And I mean that both emotionally and physically.

I'm fucking sorry okay?!?!?!

x)

A whole week free. To study -.-

I really need to get out and go somewhere other than school.
But I need money for that -.-

It'd also be nice to have a proper lunch once in a while, I'm sick of only eating breakfast and dinner -.-

Wow, this was meant to be a not depressing post. Failed at that.

Unsurprisingly.



TPR ♥

.hgiS

.uoy ssim I

Ohhhh...

I get it now!

It's not relationships or friendships that bring drama, it's PEOPLE -.-

Soo over it.

Just gotta pick who's worth going through the drama for then hey.

NB. Please don't rant to me when I've just said I'm not getting in the middle.
I'm sick of being your 'go to girl' whenever something happens with everyone. If you've got a problem with someone, just come out and god damn say it! -.-

hmph.

It's been a week.
How long are you gonna keep this up?
Just wondering...

Scared of Lonely

I'm in this fight and I'm swinging and my arms are getting tired
I'm trying to beat this emptiness but I'm running out of time
I'm sinking in the sand and I can't barely stand
I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely

I try to be patient but I'm hurting deep inside
And I can't keep waiting, I need comfort late at night
And I can't find my way, won't you lead me home?
'Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely, I'm scared of lonely

I cry at night 'cause my baby's too far to be by my side
To wipe away these tears of mine so I hold my pillow tight
To imagine you I'll stretch your hand looking for mine
'Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I need your break when nobody is around
'Cause I'm tired of this emptiness
I think I'm drowning, I can't be lonely
And I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of be the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely, I'm scared of lonely




There's been a lot of lyrics recently, I've noticed. I guess I just want to say something, and I don't feel like I can say anything anymore.

Huh.

You have to admit. It's kinda depressing.

No wonder I gave up.

The weather matches my mood at the moment...

Konoyo No Uta

Futawo futawoo
Taichi no futa ho
Kaze ho ira koo
Hikari abite

Hoshi wa matataki
Mochi wa kirameku
Fuwa fuwa kururin
Negai komete

Futa wo futa hoo
Sekai no futawo
Dokomade ikko
Sorawo aoite

Hitomo furunoe
Mushimo habataki
Fuwa fuwa kururin
Omoi nosete

Fuwa fuwa kururin
Ashita wa kitto
Fuwa fuwa kururin
Sorani todoku

Ennui Kibun

biroodo neko no o
shinpin no kutsu de fun jatta
sainan da wa!
Aa!
Aa, Aaaa!


kyou wa daiji na you na no desu
fuman o
itte iru
baai de wa nai wa

ring, ring, morning, naridasu kikai on
kirai suki kirai
jirenma no beddo no naka de
kirai suki kirai suki!

shokugo no manzoku ge na
nakigoe ga ashi ni karamitsuku no

sonna koto yori hayaku - ika nai to!

ring, ring, morning
naridasu kikai on
kirai suki kirai
ennui kibun
kagami no mae de
kirai suki kirai suki!

ring, ring, darling, shizuka ni shite tte
kirai suki kirai
jirenma no beddo no naka de
kyou dake tokubetsu kirai suki!

lala, lala, lalalalala...

Suna No Oshiro

sotto nagareru
shiroi
kawaita kumo ga tooru
haiiro no watashi wa
tada jitto kieteiku no wo
miteta

hoshi wo atsumete
tsukuru suna no oshiro ni
watashi no sasayaka na inori
koborete ochiru
sono ashimoto wo
machibuseta nami ga sarau

a world of darkness.
a world of silence.

kiekakaru inori
kaze ni aorare nagara
sore demo tomori tsuzukete
watashi ga ikudo mo motsure nagara
hieyuku te de
tsukuru suna no oshiro wo
machibuseta nami ga sarau

a anata e

Students + dying = ...

Why on earth is studying so bloody difficult! I know I have to do it, or I'll be kicking myself later (Exhibit A: the second english exam)
But I just can't get motivated! -.-


Oh...wait...
maybe it's because watching ヴぁんぱいあ　ないと　and playing Professor Layton is just SOOO much easier? *sigh* more fun too.

Well, HSC, you suck balls. Majorly.
I only have four more exams left.
And after that, I shall have all the time in the world to watch anime and play ds...that is, in between the moving and job hunting...*sigh*

Scratch that - life sucks balls majorly.





Derp.
/rant

sayounara!

Uhhhmmmmm

I know you're angry at me. I know I hurt you.
But I miss you more when you ignore me.
Sorry. I don't wanna push you.
I'll be here when you're ready.
To rage or talk or anything.
And I definitely deserve to be raged at for it.
I'm sorry.


-

Oh and hey you. I know we aren't as close anymore, but I hope you know you can still talk to me if you need to.
I'll be here to listen x)



Right. Love you both.
<3

hmm...

Sometimes it actually kinda scares me how much we seem to have in common...

Fifty-One.

Sorry.

I don't know how many times I'll have to say it, but I will as much as I need to.

I'm seriously sorry that it happened, and I do partially take blame for it.
I didn't mean for offence to be taken, and I actually think it's a nice pic of the two of you. It's like Mel's screen saver - it creeps me out, but I still think it's cool.

I am really, really sorry, and I hate that you took offence to it, or rather that it got to the point where offence could be taken....

I'm very very sorry.

King of Anything.

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I’d say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine
And get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent
Swear you know best
But you expect me to jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction
But you’ll never see
You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down, just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe.

Fifty.

If I Shake It Off Maybe You'll Take It Off

Not that anyone here likely cares, or reads ;)

Sorry, I'm having way too much fun atm with this, but finally, it's a no strings attached argument, and I don't care how it ends, because I don't care about you. People who tell me to fuck off, and say they don't care what I think, they don't mean anything to me. x)

Oh, and JLH, I think getting to know you more is a good thing, cos you've shown that what I used to think of you was wrong. You're a cool guy, and people just don't understand people like us ;)

Oh, and this may be the last one for a while. HSC dictates me not spending so much time here ;)

I swear this time I mean it.

People don't blog anymore.
It sounds weird, but I think it's depressing.
I don't talk much to people anymore, and by reading their blogs it kinda gave me a little peek into their thoughts, and I thought that was interesting, and left me content that I actually have some idea of what's going on anymore. I miss people's blogs.

I don't think people even read mine anymore though...

Leave.

It's amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and lose it all

And it's unnerving
How just one move puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell

I'm not saying
There was nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me

And I'm not saying
We ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me



♪♥ I forgot how much I love Matchbox Twenty (x

Make No Mistake; These Smiles Are Fake;;

I don't know if I want it any more...

Cos when I have it, I just want more...

Though I want it sometimes when I don't have it...

I wanna know what it feels like...









Lostprophets&&P!nk♥

Ldn.

The sun is in the sky
Oh why, oh why
Would I wanna be anywhere else

If you look with your eyes
Everything seems nice
But if you look twice
You'll see that they're all lies

Uncertainty.

Everything feels...different somehow?
Maybe better, I don't know.
Confuzzled.

Dude, I miss you x)

Utopia.

I think everyone has a dream world. Somewhere where everything happens how they want it.
Somewhere they can get away from everything.

I spend more time in my dream world than ever before. It's where I feel real smiles, where I feel wanted.
But my reality has been seeping in too much recently...It's not as good as I used to think, but somehow I like it better this way.
Sadistic and masochistic? I think so (:

yay.

into the background; into the abyss.
Fading.


I don't get why that doesn't hurt?

No sleep for my soul...

Did you think that things would be okay?
That my life could keep going on this way?

Is it really that hard to see?

In some ways, people rely too much on their eyes - but the hurt doesn't always show.
And always, people rely on others to tell them what's happening - when you should be figuring it out yourself.

So if I told you I was ok, would you believe me? Would you look beyond that, look at my actions, look at me? Would you listen to what I'm not saying? Would you go by gut instinct or take my word as fact?

I can't help but be secretive and ambiguous...

mipaa!!

I don't think there are words to express how I feel at the moment. My emotions are so mixed up, I think of a word for them and then come up with every way it's not that.
Too many emotions all in one. My body can't handle it.

(:

We may not always be close, but being your friend makes me happy...

hmm

Thinking about it...no I don't think I could truthfully say I was completely happy.
But somehow, the good always outweighed the bad.
I'd found someone I could actually imagine myself knowing when I'm older...

(:
Maybe memories and hope will be all I'll have left afterwards.


This tension is killing me. I don't know what the lack of anything means...


Sorry for all the posts tonight...

...

I know you think it's the right thing. Who knows, it could be.

But somehow this got through the numb. I'm hurting more than ever before.

I miss you.

A proposal? Just friends? Not best friends, just friends. Friends like I am with everyone else. No more hurting, no more talking behind each others backs. Just someone who's there, like everyone else.
Nobody understands me as much as you did. I can't let go this easy.
If you agree, just re-add me. There doesn't have to be words.
I miss you.
I miss us, even though it will probably never be again.
But something...anything will help...
<3 ily.

btw..

oh, and to find out that you're the happiest you've ever been...that hurts.
Especially since....

Thoughts. Life.

There are so many things, I don’t even know what to start with. I’m not even sure what I’m going to say, so I guess it will just have to come out as I think of it.

I’m sorry if I hurt you. I’m sorry if maybe the way things went wasn’t exactly as planned. I’m sorry that you felt that you couldn’t talk to me about anything, and that I was hurt by that. I’m sorry that the way I react to being hurt isn’t how you do, and so you didn’t understand my actions.
I never wanted to hurt you. I never thought that we would get that bad. I didn’t even think we were that bad. 4yrs together, I’m sure it was about the point that we needed some space, and it even made sense for us to not be in each other’s pockets anymore. I didn’t think I’d stray that far, and I didn’t think to look back and realise that for every step I took, you were building the barrier between us longer and longer. I can’t say that neither of us is to blame, but I’m completely sure that both of us had a part, and I’m over looking past mine and only seeing yours. You acted, I reacted. You acted wrongly, I reacted wrongly. You promised me that it would always be “friends first” and I believed you. But you didn’t stick to that. One more step away. You always clung to your morals when it concerned someone else. Even when I assured you, you were always on my back about it – “you never know when you’re in a relationship.” When you gave the slightest sign that you were going back on these, you hurt people, more than just me, because that single sign showed us that with you, things are different. Another step. And then when we couldn’t talk. Because you refused to tell me anything. Because I was angry at you for everything else that happened. Because ‘he’ was telling me off, and I had realised that there goes yet another person I could talk to. Step, step, step.
And then that day, when I found out that YOUR decision regarding OUR friendship was made and told to people, that I wasn’t meant to find out, that I had to hear off of people who had accidentally overheard you, that you were annoyed at the people who had actually told me because it was regarding me. That day, to begin with, I was shocked. But then, I was angry because I was the last to know, and numb, because how am I meant to feel?
You were probably hurt by what happened next. I didn’t talk to you. I wouldn’t sit with you. I didn’t go out of my way to be away from you, but I also didn’t go out of my way to be with you either. And I figure you probably don’t understand why I’ve been doing that the past 6 or 7 weeks.
You know what I’m like. My mind doesn’t work the way that other peoples do. I think about things differently. From what I’d seen and heard, you didn’t give a shit. You couldn’t have cared less about how I was. About what I thought. Well this is how I felt, and this is what I thought. I figured, if you didn’t care about me, I wouldn’t care about you. Easier said than done. So I had to pretend to not care. So I couldn’t show you that I was hurting, that the only thing I wanted was for you to show some sign that you cared, and the most I could hope for is for you to give some acknowledgment that you want to be friends again. And I never got that.
One day, in maths, I went over to talk to the people with you, even you. You hadn’t noticed me there, not that I could tell, but as soon as I started talking, you went from talkative and happy, to coldly silent, non responsive. The next day was our geography excursion. I had spent that night thinking about the incident in maths, and the only logical conclusion I could come up with was that I had to spend the day with other people, just to ensure that things weren’t awkward with everybody. What a mistake that was. The next day, even the rest of that week, somebody else, who I thought would understand, didn’t talk to me, was annoyed at me for it, even though I’d explained to him why I did it. And then I found out, yet again, that you were talking about me, complaining about me. From what I heard, you were complaining that you’d tried to talk, that you were trying to be civil. And all I could think of was how in maths you completely ignored me. And I couldn’t believe a word of it.
I want you to understand, that I had my reasons for not spending time with you in class when I used to. I want you to understand that if I hadn’t thought they were good enough reasons, I wouldn’t have done it, because I have had so much grief about it. I’m thoroughly sick of people asking me what’s wrong. I don’t want to say, because I don’t want them to think so badly of you. I don’t want them to take my word as gospel, because I know I only saw one side, I know that there could have been a million things running through your head that I had no idea about.
I didn’t sit with you because I was angry. I couldn’t stand to see your face. That’s why I deleted you off of facebook, and when I can see you without going into a rage, then I’ll add you again. That you’d done that to me, pushed me away without even saying anything to me, that pissed me off, and I sincerely hope you understand why. I couldn’t be around you because I didn’t want to crack – I didn’t want you to see how much it hurt to see you with other people and know that you and I don’t have that relationship anymore, I didn’t want you to see how much not having my best friend affected me. Physically, I’ve healed, but mentally, emotionally, I haven’t. I can’t trust anyone anymore, I enjoy being around my other newer friends because they don’t expect that from me, they can just talk about anything and I don’t have any obligation except to listen. And it’s so much easier to pretend I’m happy when I’m with them. You probably didn’t notice, when it got quiet, how much I had to hold back the tears. I’m not one for dramatics, and you know that I don’t like crying in front of everybody, so hopefully you’ll understand how much I was hurting for me to almost end up like that.
Then there was the day when I found out that you and I have no hope anymore. I’ve never felt more alone. Maybe I was naïve in thinking that things would be better, after all the stressful stuff is over. I was definitely wrong.
I can’t bring myself to throw out all the things you wrote me, even though when I look at them I get angry and sad all over again. The most I could do was put the ‘sister’ stuff into a box and pack it away. I hope you understand that you made a huge impact on my life – you made it so much easier to make sure that what I did was right. And since you’ve been gone, I’ve done things which I wouldn’t have if you had been there. Things I would regret, had I not enjoyed it so much. Which sounds sick, because it is. I miss you like crazy, and I don’t know how I’m going to cope without you, with people still asking me about what’s happening, with people still bringing up that we were friends because they don’t know what’s happened, with me constantly thinking I should tell my mum, but I just can’t, not even when she said to me “Aren’t you two friends anymore?” all because you didn’t wave to her.
I hope you understand how much I hate myself because of all this. And I hope I didn’t cause you too much pain throughout the past 4yrs. I still love you and I hope you know that.

Next one.
I used to think you were like the male version of me, that I could always talk to you. But now I can’t. And I don’t talk to you because I can’t. You’re an amazing friend, and I miss you. <3

Next.
I can’t trust you anymore. I can’t trust you or anyone else in the group. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know. Maybe I just think that you’ll go tell someone else. I don’t know. I’m sorry, but I just can’t and I wish I could.




I think that’s it. For now anyway.

Something I read somewhere – “I cut because something inside me wants me to hurt.”

Umm

I just don't understand how an action which hurts everyone involved is in any way the "best" thing to do...

a million and one words.

I have a million things to say. And I'll say them when I can get my thoughts together.
It's sometimes so hard to write on here, because I know that there are people reading it, and I mostly know who. It makes me word things to make them ambiguous, whether it's to spite somebody on purpose or whether I just can't come out with the words just yet. But soon, I'll write everything I need to say, whether I want to say it or not. Because there are some people that need to hear(read?) it. Because there are people who have taken things the wrong way, who I would've thought would understand what I mean, but obviously haven't.

*sigh*

try to convince me it shouldn't hurt.
Go on. Try.

Just Tonight.

Here we are
And I can't think from all the pills
Hey
Start the car and take me home.

Here we are
And you're too drunk to hear a word I say
Start the car and take me home.

Just tonight
I will stay
And we'll throw it all away
When the light hits your eyes
It's telling me I'm right

And if I
I am through
Then it's all because of you
Just tonight...

Here I am
And I can't seem to see straight
But I'm too numb to feel right now

Here I am
Watching the clock that's ticking away my time
I'm to numb to feel right now

Just tonight
I will stay
And we'll throw it all away
When the light hits your eyes
It's telling me I'm right

And if I
I am through
Then it's all because of you
Just tonight...

Just tonight...

Do you understand who I am?
Do you wanna know?
Can you really see through me?
Now
I have got to go

Just tonight
I won't leave
And I'll lie and you'll believe
Just tonight
I will see
That it's all because of me

Just tonight
I will stay
And we'll throw it all away
When the light hits your eyes
It's telling me I'm right

And if I
I am through
Then it's all because of you
Just tonight...

It's all because of you
Just tonight

It's all because of you
Just tonight

It's all because of you
Just tonight






...

...

Masochistic and sadistic.





Another secret I cannot post.

What good is having people around you when you can't tell them anything?

あなた　が　きらい　です。
あなた　を　ねじ。

Both Sides of the Story.

I found out
Finding out isn't the worst part.
I don't believe
It's just me.




You know what?
I don't even know what to say.

I've never meant it more than now, that I cannot wait to finish school. So I'll never have to see you ever again.

I thought you might have understood, but apparently you didn't.
At least there was somebody who understood my actions.

Oh, and you're either lying, or your version of talking is a lot different to mine.

<3WATIC<3

Lights out.

Everybody come a little bit closer
Everybody sing a little bit louder
We run this town tonight

So keep your fingers crossed
Hide them behind you back
I'll hold my breath
And let you fill the room
With smoke and mirrors
Things look clearer
Just don't panic
So chase your words with your tongue
'Cause you can't avoid me now


Yeah, you were the worst part of my day...

.

And yet another secret which I can not post.

It's fucked.

This is absolute shit.
Why is it that I cannot express how I'm feeling?
Fuck, seeing your face when you're being mopey pisses me off.
But I can't say that cos I don't want you to think I care anymore.
I don't care. You made your decision and I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
I just wish I wasn't the one who had to answer all the questions.
maybe if people would just leave it the FUCK alone, I wouldn't have to.
People can get over it, friends aren't friends forever.
FUCK OATH!

And I can't even let anyone know how I'm feeling. About anything.
Because I'm not the perfect little girl everyone thinks I am.
I have problems which none of you could guess at.
Fuck you all.
I'm fucking sick of everyone.
Just fuck off.
FUCK!

It hurts.

Mayday Parade - Miserable At Best

I know that I am dead
and it seems that I
still have some tears to shed

):

Why does it feel like telling you that was the wrong thing to do, and that it has ruined everything?
Even though I didn't really say it...

And why is it that now, you've both changed what you're saying?

How can you say you only want them to be happy, when they were happier with you than without, but the way you were made them feel alone?


OMG stupid teenage life -.-

Tralalalala

Haha maybe it's about time for a comprehensive blog, one that would make sense to everybody who reads and isn't just lyrics? haha

Uhh most of my trial marks back, and I'm rather happy about them!!
School's over in....3 weeks.
I'm not going to school tomorrow.
Great friends. (S, T, T, R - best/funniest people to sit with in class! haha)

But...

I hope you're ok. ily. Things will be ok, I promise (:
<3


x
Listening to: New Music
♪TA
♪WATIC
♪TPR
♪AM
♪A
♪S
♪F
♪MP
♪KW
♪VE
And Punk Goes Pop = Teh Lolz xD

Well...

I'd say I didn't want to say "I told you so"...

but...

I actually do (:
I.
Told.
You.
So.

(Y)

Still Doll

Hi Miss Alice.
Anata garasu no me de
Donna yume wo
Mirareru no?
Miirareru no?
Mata atashi
Kokoro ga sakete
Nagarederu
Tsukurotta
Sukima ni sasaru
Kioku-tachi
Hi Miss Alice.
Anata kajitsu no kuchi de
Dare ni ai wo
Nagete iru no?
Nageite iru no?
Mou atashi
Kotoba o tsumugu
Shita no netsu
Samekitte
Mederu o-uta mo
Utaenai
Still, you do not answer.

Untitled. 2.

You think you got it all worked out
But you dont know nothin', nothin', NOTHIN'
You think that you could rub me out
But I'm made of somethin', somethin', SOMETHIN'

I could teach you
A thing or two
YEAH oh YEAH oh

(:

:@:@

Fucking creeps!

Go get a life that doesn't involve driving around watching UNDERAGE girls skirts blow up in the wind!

Fuck off! It's creeps like you who make people feel unsafe on the streets!!


GRRR :@

Start The Revolution.

You'd know the truth if these walls could sing.

I'll Say I'm Sorry But I Won't Feel Sorry For You.

Sorry for so many posts.

Just love sitting in bed listening to music.

And my lack of facebook means I can't post the lyrics as status' -.-

ily.

Untitled.

"Lets be everything
they never thought we could be


I'll do things that
you couldn't say no to.

I promise I'll get you home safe tonight.

It's a broken heart that scares me"

Sorry.
Random.






Truth is, you don't know what goes through my head. Ever.
So how do you even know what to think of me?

For The Win.

You've got a big mouth
And the streets are talking
'Bout the way you walk around like you own the place

You've got a big mouth and you should've shut it
Yeah you should've shut it in the first place

All talk
You can't act like you call shots
When I'm the only thing that you've got

We don't have anywhere to go
but up
So sit back and watch us fall
Take it back
Don't react
Don't ever forget
We'll make it by
This time

I can't take
Another second of this
God damn town

Everybody's got me looking in the wrong direction.

...

If only you knew what went through my head every minute of every hour of every day.







What would you think of me then?

Sometimes....

Sometimes, things in life are hard to say.
Like if you say it, it seems much worse than if you had kept it to yourself.
Like if you say it, it's real.
Like if you say it, your whole life could come crashing down.

Sometimes, things in life are hard to hear.
Like if you hear it, your life will be changed for the worse forever.
Like if you hear it, nothing will ever be the same.

Sometimes, things in life are hard to write.
Like if you write it, it's become real, timeless and unforgettable.
Like if you write it, people will read and people will know your deepest secrets.

Sometimes, things in life are hard to read.
Like if you read it, it's real.
Like if you read it, it will take on a completely different shape in your head.
Like if you read it, everything will start going wrong.

Sometimes, life is hard.
Like if you live it, you'll get hurt.
Like if you live it, you'll hurt others.

The truth is, it's everything that's hard that is the best for you.

And death is never a logical option.

FML.

Modern wants to kill me.

In fact, the HSC trials want to kill me.

That is all.

xD

And it feels like I haven't seen you in days
And it feels like I'll never see you again
And it only goes to show you never really cared
Why should I have to pretend you're ever there?
It only goes to show you don't know
But I don't need a cure - this is not a disease
I'm not even sure why I'm down on my knees
And I don't need your fix no it's not what it seems
I'm not addicted baby in your dreams
Listen to my heart, listen to my heart beat
And your heart drop from the rooftop down to the street

And in case you're wondering where I've been
I've been here without you
And by any slim chance that you care if I'm happy
Well I'm so much more without you

(:
<3

Friends.

My friends are amazing.
I never want to let them go.
Without even trying, they can make my worst days end in a (albeit, tear stained) smile.
I know they're always there, when I need them, and when I don't. Even when I need them and I just don't reach out to them.
I know they care.
I know I would try my best to not let anything get in between us, and I hope that they feel the same.
People I can go to about everything, and not have half the world know about it by the next day.
I love you guys.
<3
J.B.J.A.R.M.S.A.J.B.J

thoughts.

"This isn't about forever. It's about us. About how we feel about each other, right now."

I knwo it's a sickly lovey dovey quote, but I think it could relate to everyone.
Everyone is always thinking about the future, about where something's going, what's going to happen. All that jazz. But maybe everyone just needs to take a break from that and think about right now. Your preparations for the future, what is that doing to everything else in your life? What if your plans for the future don't happen as you thought they would? Then what?

Then what?

-.-

I absolutely LOVE how my brother always manages to ruin my day.

Ok, I get it. So maybe I shouldn't have goten the pocky and saved up for dad's father's day present. I still haven't paid off mum's mothers day present. So what? It's not like I was ever likely to make that money by fathers day anyway, so you would've had to buy it whether I'd gotten the pocky or not. Plus, I found out about the present last night. I'd paid for half the pocky months ago.

I'm sorry that in the past 2yrs that I've been looking I haven't been able to get a job. I'm sorry that I can't even get hired at Mcdonalds. I'm sorry that you left school to go into a high paying job, and I have to take a gap year just so I have the money to go to the uni I want. I'm sorry that you always got everything you wanted and I never get anything. I can't help that nobody wants to hire me, that I've given up because nobody has and because it's too late to get a job here anyway cos we're moving. I already have to put up with Dad always at me cos I don't do any work around the house, so sorry dad that I've grown up with your high expectations, but I can't get into the uni I want if you're always bugging me to do stuff when I'm trying to study, cos I'm not as naturally smart as you seem to think I am. I already have to put up with mum always taking out her anger and frustration on me cos I'm the only one who puts up with it. I'm sorry I'm not the spoilt brat that you and Rhys are. I'm sorry if I have absolutely no energy to get up half the time, but you still expect me to spend hours standing to make money. I'm sorry that what little money I do get, I spend it on me because nobody else will spend money on me. I'm sorry that it was the year I'm doing my HSC that my parents decide to move out, and want to put the house on the market as soon as the exams start. I'm sorry that in between studying and stressing, I'm going to have to make sure my room is absolutely spotless.

You always just point out everything that's wrong with me, and you never take a look at what's actually going on. I'm sorry, but I'm not like you, I never was, and I was never as lucky as you were. I'm sorry ok.

Just please get off my back about everything!!

.

hmph.

First day off of trials tomorrow. And I get to fill it with study...(:

I'm glad we're talking again. I know it was only for a few weeks that we didn't really talk, but somehow, things feel better now. Iunno.

There are a few very special people in my life right now. And when I say special, I mean in every way ;D
SMAJ
<3

I Don't Care.

Idon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcare

):

Why do I feel like I'm so completely different to everyone else?

Why do I feel like I've been sheltered my whole life, like I'm stuck in one place and everyone else is moving forward?

Why does it take weeks to get over how fat and ugly I look in all those photos, and how everyone else is just perfect?

(:

Trials. Start. Tomorrow.
Ohhh shiiittt :S


It made my day to have a friend who I'm not heaps close to say she misses me. We only saw each other on Friday.
(:
I feel lucky. (:

RIP Amanda

And so it happens again.
Another young life, gone much too early, but gone to a better place.
Somebody else who I didn't know personally, who I didn't really know at all.
But somebody who knew people I know.
Somebody who, now, will always be in their hearts, in my heart.
And the thought process is the same still.

"What if it was someone I knew?"
And
"Could I handle it?"

I don't think anything has ever made me more depressed than the death of those who were too young to have lived out the life they deserved.
They were always so beautiful.

It's times like this that people may start to doubt their faith.
But for me, it's my faith that allows me to see the positive, that they truly are in heaven looking down.

RIP Amanda & Sasha.
I never knew you, but I still think you're beautiful.
Your memories will always live on.

Hmph.

You have no right to be annoyed at anybody for telling me when I have every right to know what YOU are saying about me behind my back.

At first, I couldn't believe you gave up so easily, then I remembered. It's you. Always best at running.
I guess I just wasn't worth it in the end then, was i?

I think you need to grow up. I don't know what you expect from me. I don't think even you know what you want from me.

I guess I was right when I said that I was just the "rubbish".

Truth be told, I wanted you to try. I really did.
I guess you might think it was my pride that made me tell you that it was up to you.
It wasn't. I guess I just wanted to see if you thought I was worth it.
And I wanted you to realise that you can't have others pick up after your mistakes.

For the record, I never once said I didn't want to talk. You were always just putting it off with your "Let me know when you want to talk." So don't use me as your excuse.

Oh. And I wasn't angry at you for what you thought I was. You might have wanted me to "get over it."
But I just can't stand people who say one thing and do something else.
It's called hypocracy.


But then again, I guess my opinion doesn't really matter to you, because you always thought I was just a flirty slut.


I think that's my rant for today.

But you have got to learn to not try to say stuff behind people's backs. Because it will always get out.

And you even try blaming anyone else or having a go at anyone else, and who knows what lengths I will go to, to teach you to never, ever do that again.
Probably the same lengths I would've gone to for you. Up until yesterday.


k. thanks. bai.

Surprise.

I don't know what's worse.

Being the last to find out.

Finding out off of somebody else.

or

Knowing that you don't care.

Breathe.

I am going to be strong.
I am not going to give in.
When you used to care, having you around was good.
You knew me better than anyone else.
With you, I didn't need words.
But I won't let you bind me with what you think is right.
Especially when all you've shown me recently is that you'll go against it yourself.
Things have changed.
With both of us.
We can't change back.
But we can change more.

Lookin in the mirror..

I
see
lies,
people
who can't
stand themselves,
hurt and pain, lack
of confidence and self respect and
self esteem, fantasy and imagination,
reality, hate, love, weariness,
weakness, strength, failures,
successes, addictions,
obsessions, life
death, hope,
fear, and
nothing-
ness


x.

My Medicine/Going Down/Miss Nothing

Somebody mixed my medicine
Somebody mixed my medicine

You hurt where you sleep
And you sleep where you lie
Now you're in deep and
now you're gonna cry
You got a woman to the left
and a boy to the right
Start to sweat so hold me tight

Somebody mixed my medicine
I don't know what I'm on
Somebody mixed my medicine
But baby it's all gone
Somebody mixed my medicine
Somebody's in my head again
Somebody mixed my medicine again, again

I'll drink what you leak
And I'll smoke what you sigh
Straight across the room with a look in your eye
I got a man to the left and a girl to the right
Start to sweat so hold me tight

Somebody mixed my medicine
I don't know what I'm on
Somebody mixed my medicine
But baby it's all gone
Somebody mixed my medicine
Somebody's in my head again
Somebody mixed my medicine again, again

There's a tiger in the room
and a baby in the closet
Pour another drink mom
I don't even want it
Then I turn around and think I see
someone that looks like you

You hurt where you sleep
You sleep where you lie
Now you're in deep and
now you're gonna cry
You got a woman to the left
and a boy to the right
Start to sweat so hold me tight

Somebody mixed my medicine
I don't know what I'm on
Somebody mixed my medicine
But baby it's all gone
Somebody mixed my medicine
Somebody's in my head again
Somebody mixed my medicine
again (x8)

Somebody mixed my medicine (x3)
Somebody's in my head again
Somebody mixed my medicine
again (x3)



Hey there, Father
I don't wanna bother you
But I've got a sin to confess
I'm just 16 if you know what I mean
Do you mind if I take off my dress?

Don't know where to start
Let me get to the good parts
Might wanna cross up your legs
I've got envy, I've got greed, anything that you need
And I'm not above having to beg
There was this boy who tore my heart in two
I had to lay him eight feet underground

All I need is someone to save me
Cause I am goin' down
And what I need is someone to save me
Cause I am goin' down, all the way down

Well, hey there, Father
There is just one other thing
I have a sinful request
I hear you know God could you give him a nod in my direction
I would be in your debt

Perhaps there is something that we could work out
I noticed your breathing is starting to change
We could go in the back behind all these stacks of bibles
And get out of this cage

There was this boy who tore my heart in two
I had to lay him eight feet underground

All I need is someone to save me
Cause I am goin' down
And what I need is someone to save me
Cause God, I'm goin' down, all the way down

I didn't wanna do it, Father
But I caught him with another woman in the bed I made him
So I put him in a grave
And now there's no one left around to get me off
When I want it to drag

The next day on the television they identified him
By the circumsicion that I made and now I'm on the run
But wait, why did I have to go and kill him
When he was the best I'd ever had

All I need is someone to save me
Cause I am goin' down
And what I need is something to save me
Cause God, I'm goin' down, all the way down

I'm goin' down
All the way down



I’m Miss Autonomy
Miss Nowhere
I’m at the bottom of me

Miss Androgyny
Miss Don’t Care What I’ve Done To Me
I am misused, I don’t wanna do
Be not your slave

Misguided, I mind it.
I’m missin’ the train.

And I don’t know where I’ve been
And I don’t know what I’m into
And I don’t know what I’ve done to me
And as I watch you disappear into the ground
My one mistake was that I never let you down

So I’ll waste my time, and I’ll burn my mind
On Miss Nothing, Miss Everything

I’m Miss Fortune
Miss So Soon
I’m like a bottle of pain
Miss Matter
You had her, now she’s goin’ away

I’m misused, misconstrued
I don’t need to be saved
Miss Slighted, I mind it
I’m stuck in the rain

And I don’t know where I am
And I don’t know what I’m into
And I don’t know what I’ve done to me
And as I watch you disappear into the ground
My one mistake was that I never let you down

So I’ll waste my time, and I’ll burn my mind
On Miss Nothing, Miss Everything

Miss Everything

And as I watch you disappear into my head
Well, there’s a man who’s tellin’ me I might be dead

So I’ll waste my time, and I’ll burn my mind
So I’ll waste my time, and I’ll burn my mind
On Miss Nothing, Miss Everything

Broken Hearts and Torn Up Letters...

"Yesterday I lost my closest friend
Yesterday I wanted time to end..."

Just one of those nights where it's best to lie in bed, listen to music, and not speak to anyone.
I'm sure I'll just ruin their day if I did.
I wish things weren't so hard and I wish people were more open with what they're thinking and feeling. I wish I knew what was going through your mind. I wish I knew what anything was about. I wish you weren't so....Don't worry.

I feel like I'm losing everything, like everything is falling apart around me.
I don't think there's been a time I've needed to get away from everyone and everything more than I do now.

God, please save me. From me.

x kukkii.

Dear Me!

I hate it when someone changes suddenly into a person you never thought they would.


Title: Courtesy of Sanket. (:

Me.

Yes, the real me.

I mean what I say. I won't tolerate inappropriate behaviour. I'm a bitch. I'm self-conscious. I'm a coward. I won't say it to your face, but chances are I won't say it behind your back either. You piss me off, I stay pissed off. At you. I love my friends, I tink they're awesome, even if the feelings aren't returned. I don't trust. I won't trust. I've stopped making people my everything. The only person who won't let me down is myself. I keep some promises, I don't keep some. I try to please everyone. If I can't manage a smile, then there is definately something wrong. If I can manage a smile, then there's probably something wrong. If I say something to you, I mean it. I seem two faced, but I just change my mind a lot. I'm forgetful, but I remember the small things. I make assumptions, face the consequences. If I'm a bitch to your face, then I like you enough to think that you deserve the truth. I complain. A lot. And not normally about what's really bothering me. If I don't wanna tell you, I won't tell you. You push me sometimes, and you get pushed away. You push me other times, and you get pulled in. I can't guarantee I'll always be nice. But I can guarantee I won't always be mean. I'm still growing, I'm still learning. I've mastered the art of sarcasm. I've mastered the art of insulting others intelligence. But I still don't always know when it's the right time to say the right thing and who the right person is, so often, I won't say anything at all. I think more than I talk. I don't talk that often though. When I'm silent, don't ever assume to know what I want. If I'm talkative, don't ruin the moment. There's always a song in my head. Music IS my life. I'm addicted. I have withdrawal symptoms when I don't have it. When someone asks me for something, I try my best to get it for them straight away. I never expect the same from others. My parents taught me respect and manners, but I know that they are some of the few parents that do that these days. I try my best to be nice to everyone, but that doesn't mean that people can't piss me off so much that I begin to dislike them. When I dislike someone, they know about it. I love manga, I love anime. I wish I could draw it. My thoughts are never one continuous train. Which has probably been rather evident in this. I'm a grammar and spelling "nazi." I prefer when people are nice. It makes them more beautiful. I find high school annoying, but university seems really exciting. I can't wait to get a job, and I want to love going to work. I love mystery, and I'm always curious to know what's going on, but it annoys me when I don't find out.

Anything else you'd like to know?

Lost in translation ;)

Viel besser glauben.
Das Lassen gehen war solch eine gute Idee.
Ich habe heraus Freunden geholfen, und die ist eine meiner Lieblingssachen, zum zu tun.
Eine plötzliche Realisierung von, wie nah das HSC ist.
73 Tage und Zählung.
11 Wochen.
Zwei Wochen bis Versuche.
Und ich fühle ein bisschen mich geschraubt für sie Haha.
Möchten zu TPR hören.
Möchten Pocky essen.
Möchten VK, BC und alle andere aufpassen, die Sanket benötigt, um mich zu erhalten! *hint hint* Haha

Haha I translated back into english to check it, and though the general message can be achieved, it is very much lost in translation (:
Oh and very excited about uni (:

A.D.D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yhLa_wV0Io&feature=related

I'm liking the color, I'm liking the bold
And I've got an attitude, you bet I'll be rude
I like getting crazy, I'm liking the toys
Yeah, I love loud noise

Am I making you nervous? Am I making you fear?
I know that your anxious, so come over here
And look at my makeup, play with my hair
Take a peek under

I'm young and I'm easily bored
Hey, hey, that's what the night is for
I've got A.D.D, so don't mess with me
'Cause I'm young and I'm easily bored
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Owww!

I live for excitement, do you live for the ride?
Let's kiss for your camera, and then I'll decide
I'm attracted to chaos, attracted to rage
And I might offend you

See, I like to play nice, so I can be rude
I might be too forward, did I tell you too soon?
That I like the charade and I like to impose
Get me a drink

I'm young and I'm easily bored
Hey, hey, that's what the night is for
I've got A.D.D, so don't mess with me
'Cause I'm young and I'm easily bored

Ohhh Ohhh
Don't ya, don't ya, don't ya, try to reason with me
Don't ya, don't ya, don't ya, try to reason with me
I'm drunk so now I'm easily bored
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Owww!

I'm young and I'm easily bored
Hey, hey, that's what the night is for
I've got A.D.D, so don't mess with me
'Cause I'm young and I'm easily bored

Love drunk, that's what the night is for
Love drunk, well I'm easily bored
So baby,
Don't ya, don't ya, don't ya, try to reason with me
Don't ya, don't ya, don't ya, try to reason with me
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Owww!
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Owww!
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Owww!

And on, to any other subject that is not me...

In the midst of everything that I've felt, that I've been in the past few weeks, there has been someone. Someone who I can lean on. Someone who listens to what I have to say, who convinces me that I've not gone crazy. Someone who has become my rock.

But now, his world has been shaken. I know not what by, I know not the circumstances of everything, of anything. But I've read what he's said. And he keeps repeating himself. And though I know not the details of current events, I can safely assume who it involves.

And thus, this is my message to who it involves.

Dear -insert the name of the one involved-,

I do not presume to have any idea what is going on. I do not presume to become privy to what is going on. But I've had some thoughts that I think you should hear.

I've not known what to say. In fact, my thoughts are barely making themselves into proper phrases and sentences, even as I write them. But, even so, I will write them.

My rock, the person who has been standing by this whole time. He loves you. He can't imagine a world without you. And I can't imagine, nor would I want to, him without you.

I won't say that you two are meant to be. But you two are meant to be, right now. Not necessarily in the future (though we can hope), but definately in the present.

He doesn't often exclaim his feelings for you, not in words, not out loud.
But that doesn't mean I can't see them. In how he is when he talks of you. His excitement at seeing you. How he is, is because of you.

You two, how you feel about each other, it has given me hope.
You have given hope to a girl who swore off of guys. Who is refusing to even imagine gettng married.

And when my rock informs me that he will not rest until he find me someone with which I will have a relationship as filled with love as his is with you... Well, I find it hard to believe that all that many people could have a relationship like that.

You're a beautiful, strong young woman. And he sees that, and loves you for it.
Though I am yet to find them, I'm sure you have flaws. Every human does (and I doubt you are some sort of robot-alien hybrid creature from the other side of the universe ;P).
And the amazing thing is, he loves you for all of them too.
And because of that, your imperfections are, in fact, perfect.

He doesn't care for anyone like he cares for you. His every moment with you is precious. Every conversation, every sentence, every word, every letter.

And nothing makes me smile like seeing you two writing "I love you" to each other on facebook. (:

I can't assume that I know what's going on.
And I know I can't mae it better.
I just hope things do get better.
Because you both deserve the best.
And for you, being with each other is the best.

Love from,

A Friend.
x

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