This is a new me

In an effort to change who I am, I'm putting my thoughts out there. This is a new me.

I'm learning to trust, I'm learning to talk. This is a new me.

I now know that who I am is not good enough for the people around me. This is a new me.

I need to grow up. In so many ways. I need to get over myself. I'm no longer a five year old, I can no longer get what I want by crying and arguing. I don't matter enough to people for my threats to mean anything. This is a new me.

No longer do I need to have my own way. No more fighting. It's much too tiring being who I was, when I could be putting that energy to better, more productive work.

I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm not going to get what I want, not without having to lose a few things in the process. This is just life. You can only receive through giving. I will fight for what I need. Strive for what I want. And lose what is no longer needed in my life. So no more arguments with friends. And now, a new me.

People have argued. It's been said that who I am is good enough. That there are parts to my personality that are good.

But in contrast to what these people have said, I have my flaws. Plenty of them.
And this is what I'm going to change.

I'm going to mature. I will be less of a bitch. Less of a flirt. More of a friend.

Improvements
-A better friend. I know I can do better. And my friends deserve better than me.
-A nicer person.
-More emotionally stable.
-Being there for people.
-Becoming more optimistic.
-Learning to accept myself.
-Learning to accept others.
-Thinking more of others.

Trashed
-The Bitchiness.
-The flirting.
-The paranoia.
-The depression.
-The closed up, hidden emotions.
-The anger.
-The fighting/arguments.
-The lack of thought before action.

The Same
-The emotional strength.


And this is where it will be documented. Where it will happen.

The new me.

x.