The last few days...

I am getting thoroughly sick of me.
And I'm getting sick of how my position with my best friend has changed so dramatically.
And I'm not the only one who has noticed it.

Well, the last few days has reiterated my need to change.
They've also not helped, as they've made me incredibly angry.

The fights are pissing me off. I know I should just let it be, because no other time has it actually changed anything when I've pointed out what my problems are. So it's pretty much a waste of time, energy and emotions.

What were once secrets became known to a few. That was not good. But ended alright, as I am now getting even closer to one of my people. It feels good to now have three people I really feel I can talk to.

It was reiterated that I'm a slut. For the record, I'm not. But that seems to be the implication by somebody.

I'm starting fights with my best friend. I consciously and purposefully subject myself to bucketloads of emotional pain. And I want to break down. Twisted.

I was reminded of why it is I hate hypocrites and double standards.

And I began to wish sorry meant something to me anymore.

I miss some of the best people in my life. I miss spending days with people and coming home with a million memories to look back on and smile.

In fact, I just miss having a day out that was just good. Not "good but awkward at times", or good but I spent the whole day trembling, or good but I didn't actually talk with some people.

Someone who used to be one of my best friends now just pisses me off with everything she says. We can't focus our lives around keeping you happy. You came in at a bad time and we both know we used to speak most on msn, and only when we needed someone to talk to. I would check to see if you're ok, but I'm slowly not caring anymore. It would appear you don't really fit in with this group as much as we thought you would.

I'm thinking every Saturday morning should start with Taking Back Sunday. Very good for the soul. ^.^

[ilyMelMartinSanketAaron]

x.