Untitled. 2.

You think you got it all worked out
But you dont know nothin', nothin', NOTHIN'
You think that you could rub me out
But I'm made of somethin', somethin', SOMETHIN'

I could teach you
A thing or two
YEAH oh YEAH oh

(:

:@:@

Fucking creeps!

Go get a life that doesn't involve driving around watching UNDERAGE girls skirts blow up in the wind!

Fuck off! It's creeps like you who make people feel unsafe on the streets!!


GRRR :@

Start The Revolution.

You'd know the truth if these walls could sing.

I'll Say I'm Sorry But I Won't Feel Sorry For You.

Sorry for so many posts.

Just love sitting in bed listening to music.

And my lack of facebook means I can't post the lyrics as status' -.-

ily.

Untitled.

"Lets be everything
they never thought we could be


I'll do things that
you couldn't say no to.

I promise I'll get you home safe tonight.

It's a broken heart that scares me"

Sorry.
Random.






Truth is, you don't know what goes through my head. Ever.
So how do you even know what to think of me?

For The Win.

You've got a big mouth
And the streets are talking
'Bout the way you walk around like you own the place

You've got a big mouth and you should've shut it
Yeah you should've shut it in the first place

All talk
You can't act like you call shots
When I'm the only thing that you've got

We don't have anywhere to go
but up
So sit back and watch us fall
Take it back
Don't react
Don't ever forget
We'll make it by
This time

I can't take
Another second of this
God damn town

Everybody's got me looking in the wrong direction.

...

If only you knew what went through my head every minute of every hour of every day.







What would you think of me then?

Sometimes....

Sometimes, things in life are hard to say.
Like if you say it, it seems much worse than if you had kept it to yourself.
Like if you say it, it's real.
Like if you say it, your whole life could come crashing down.

Sometimes, things in life are hard to hear.
Like if you hear it, your life will be changed for the worse forever.
Like if you hear it, nothing will ever be the same.

Sometimes, things in life are hard to write.
Like if you write it, it's become real, timeless and unforgettable.
Like if you write it, people will read and people will know your deepest secrets.

Sometimes, things in life are hard to read.
Like if you read it, it's real.
Like if you read it, it will take on a completely different shape in your head.
Like if you read it, everything will start going wrong.

Sometimes, life is hard.
Like if you live it, you'll get hurt.
Like if you live it, you'll hurt others.

The truth is, it's everything that's hard that is the best for you.

And death is never a logical option.

FML.

Modern wants to kill me.

In fact, the HSC trials want to kill me.

That is all.

xD

And it feels like I haven't seen you in days
And it feels like I'll never see you again
And it only goes to show you never really cared
Why should I have to pretend you're ever there?
It only goes to show you don't know
But I don't need a cure - this is not a disease
I'm not even sure why I'm down on my knees
And I don't need your fix no it's not what it seems
I'm not addicted baby in your dreams
Listen to my heart, listen to my heart beat
And your heart drop from the rooftop down to the street

And in case you're wondering where I've been
I've been here without you
And by any slim chance that you care if I'm happy
Well I'm so much more without you

(:
<3

Friends.

My friends are amazing.
I never want to let them go.
Without even trying, they can make my worst days end in a (albeit, tear stained) smile.
I know they're always there, when I need them, and when I don't. Even when I need them and I just don't reach out to them.
I know they care.
I know I would try my best to not let anything get in between us, and I hope that they feel the same.
People I can go to about everything, and not have half the world know about it by the next day.
I love you guys.
<3
J.B.J.A.R.M.S.A.J.B.J

thoughts.

"This isn't about forever. It's about us. About how we feel about each other, right now."

I knwo it's a sickly lovey dovey quote, but I think it could relate to everyone.
Everyone is always thinking about the future, about where something's going, what's going to happen. All that jazz. But maybe everyone just needs to take a break from that and think about right now. Your preparations for the future, what is that doing to everything else in your life? What if your plans for the future don't happen as you thought they would? Then what?

Then what?

-.-

I absolutely LOVE how my brother always manages to ruin my day.

Ok, I get it. So maybe I shouldn't have goten the pocky and saved up for dad's father's day present. I still haven't paid off mum's mothers day present. So what? It's not like I was ever likely to make that money by fathers day anyway, so you would've had to buy it whether I'd gotten the pocky or not. Plus, I found out about the present last night. I'd paid for half the pocky months ago.

I'm sorry that in the past 2yrs that I've been looking I haven't been able to get a job. I'm sorry that I can't even get hired at Mcdonalds. I'm sorry that you left school to go into a high paying job, and I have to take a gap year just so I have the money to go to the uni I want. I'm sorry that you always got everything you wanted and I never get anything. I can't help that nobody wants to hire me, that I've given up because nobody has and because it's too late to get a job here anyway cos we're moving. I already have to put up with Dad always at me cos I don't do any work around the house, so sorry dad that I've grown up with your high expectations, but I can't get into the uni I want if you're always bugging me to do stuff when I'm trying to study, cos I'm not as naturally smart as you seem to think I am. I already have to put up with mum always taking out her anger and frustration on me cos I'm the only one who puts up with it. I'm sorry I'm not the spoilt brat that you and Rhys are. I'm sorry if I have absolutely no energy to get up half the time, but you still expect me to spend hours standing to make money. I'm sorry that what little money I do get, I spend it on me because nobody else will spend money on me. I'm sorry that it was the year I'm doing my HSC that my parents decide to move out, and want to put the house on the market as soon as the exams start. I'm sorry that in between studying and stressing, I'm going to have to make sure my room is absolutely spotless.

You always just point out everything that's wrong with me, and you never take a look at what's actually going on. I'm sorry, but I'm not like you, I never was, and I was never as lucky as you were. I'm sorry ok.

Just please get off my back about everything!!

.

hmph.

First day off of trials tomorrow. And I get to fill it with study...(:

I'm glad we're talking again. I know it was only for a few weeks that we didn't really talk, but somehow, things feel better now. Iunno.

There are a few very special people in my life right now. And when I say special, I mean in every way ;D
SMAJ
<3

I Don't Care.

Idon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcareIdon'tcare

):

Why do I feel like I'm so completely different to everyone else?

Why do I feel like I've been sheltered my whole life, like I'm stuck in one place and everyone else is moving forward?

Why does it take weeks to get over how fat and ugly I look in all those photos, and how everyone else is just perfect?

(:

Trials. Start. Tomorrow.
Ohhh shiiittt :S


It made my day to have a friend who I'm not heaps close to say she misses me. We only saw each other on Friday.
(:
I feel lucky. (:

RIP Amanda

And so it happens again.
Another young life, gone much too early, but gone to a better place.
Somebody else who I didn't know personally, who I didn't really know at all.
But somebody who knew people I know.
Somebody who, now, will always be in their hearts, in my heart.
And the thought process is the same still.

"What if it was someone I knew?"
And
"Could I handle it?"

I don't think anything has ever made me more depressed than the death of those who were too young to have lived out the life they deserved.
They were always so beautiful.

It's times like this that people may start to doubt their faith.
But for me, it's my faith that allows me to see the positive, that they truly are in heaven looking down.

RIP Amanda & Sasha.
I never knew you, but I still think you're beautiful.
Your memories will always live on.

Hmph.

You have no right to be annoyed at anybody for telling me when I have every right to know what YOU are saying about me behind my back.

At first, I couldn't believe you gave up so easily, then I remembered. It's you. Always best at running.
I guess I just wasn't worth it in the end then, was i?

I think you need to grow up. I don't know what you expect from me. I don't think even you know what you want from me.

I guess I was right when I said that I was just the "rubbish".

Truth be told, I wanted you to try. I really did.
I guess you might think it was my pride that made me tell you that it was up to you.
It wasn't. I guess I just wanted to see if you thought I was worth it.
And I wanted you to realise that you can't have others pick up after your mistakes.

For the record, I never once said I didn't want to talk. You were always just putting it off with your "Let me know when you want to talk." So don't use me as your excuse.

Oh. And I wasn't angry at you for what you thought I was. You might have wanted me to "get over it."
But I just can't stand people who say one thing and do something else.
It's called hypocracy.


But then again, I guess my opinion doesn't really matter to you, because you always thought I was just a flirty slut.


I think that's my rant for today.

But you have got to learn to not try to say stuff behind people's backs. Because it will always get out.

And you even try blaming anyone else or having a go at anyone else, and who knows what lengths I will go to, to teach you to never, ever do that again.
Probably the same lengths I would've gone to for you. Up until yesterday.


k. thanks. bai.

Surprise.

I don't know what's worse.

Being the last to find out.

Finding out off of somebody else.

or

Knowing that you don't care.

Breathe.

I am going to be strong.
I am not going to give in.
When you used to care, having you around was good.
You knew me better than anyone else.
With you, I didn't need words.
But I won't let you bind me with what you think is right.
Especially when all you've shown me recently is that you'll go against it yourself.
Things have changed.
With both of us.
We can't change back.
But we can change more.

Lookin in the mirror..

I
see
lies,
people
who can't
stand themselves,
hurt and pain, lack
of confidence and self respect and
self esteem, fantasy and imagination,
reality, hate, love, weariness,
weakness, strength, failures,
successes, addictions,
obsessions, life
death, hope,
fear, and
nothing-
ness


x.

My Medicine/Going Down/Miss Nothing

Somebody mixed my medicine
Somebody mixed my medicine

You hurt where you sleep
And you sleep where you lie
Now you're in deep and
now you're gonna cry
You got a woman to the left
and a boy to the right
Start to sweat so hold me tight

Somebody mixed my medicine
I don't know what I'm on
Somebody mixed my medicine
But baby it's all gone
Somebody mixed my medicine
Somebody's in my head again
Somebody mixed my medicine again, again

I'll drink what you leak
And I'll smoke what you sigh
Straight across the room with a look in your eye
I got a man to the left and a girl to the right
Start to sweat so hold me tight

Somebody mixed my medicine
I don't know what I'm on
Somebody mixed my medicine
But baby it's all gone
Somebody mixed my medicine
Somebody's in my head again
Somebody mixed my medicine again, again

There's a tiger in the room
and a baby in the closet
Pour another drink mom
I don't even want it
Then I turn around and think I see
someone that looks like you

You hurt where you sleep
You sleep where you lie
Now you're in deep and
now you're gonna cry
You got a woman to the left
and a boy to the right
Start to sweat so hold me tight

Somebody mixed my medicine
I don't know what I'm on
Somebody mixed my medicine
But baby it's all gone
Somebody mixed my medicine
Somebody's in my head again
Somebody mixed my medicine
again (x8)

Somebody mixed my medicine (x3)
Somebody's in my head again
Somebody mixed my medicine
again (x3)



Hey there, Father
I don't wanna bother you
But I've got a sin to confess
I'm just 16 if you know what I mean
Do you mind if I take off my dress?

Don't know where to start
Let me get to the good parts
Might wanna cross up your legs
I've got envy, I've got greed, anything that you need
And I'm not above having to beg
There was this boy who tore my heart in two
I had to lay him eight feet underground

All I need is someone to save me
Cause I am goin' down
And what I need is someone to save me
Cause I am goin' down, all the way down

Well, hey there, Father
There is just one other thing
I have a sinful request
I hear you know God could you give him a nod in my direction
I would be in your debt

Perhaps there is something that we could work out
I noticed your breathing is starting to change
We could go in the back behind all these stacks of bibles
And get out of this cage

There was this boy who tore my heart in two
I had to lay him eight feet underground

All I need is someone to save me
Cause I am goin' down
And what I need is someone to save me
Cause God, I'm goin' down, all the way down

I didn't wanna do it, Father
But I caught him with another woman in the bed I made him
So I put him in a grave
And now there's no one left around to get me off
When I want it to drag

The next day on the television they identified him
By the circumsicion that I made and now I'm on the run
But wait, why did I have to go and kill him
When he was the best I'd ever had

All I need is someone to save me
Cause I am goin' down
And what I need is something to save me
Cause God, I'm goin' down, all the way down

I'm goin' down
All the way down



I’m Miss Autonomy
Miss Nowhere
I’m at the bottom of me

Miss Androgyny
Miss Don’t Care What I’ve Done To Me
I am misused, I don’t wanna do
Be not your slave

Misguided, I mind it.
I’m missin’ the train.

And I don’t know where I’ve been
And I don’t know what I’m into
And I don’t know what I’ve done to me
And as I watch you disappear into the ground
My one mistake was that I never let you down

So I’ll waste my time, and I’ll burn my mind
On Miss Nothing, Miss Everything

I’m Miss Fortune
Miss So Soon
I’m like a bottle of pain
Miss Matter
You had her, now she’s goin’ away

I’m misused, misconstrued
I don’t need to be saved
Miss Slighted, I mind it
I’m stuck in the rain

And I don’t know where I am
And I don’t know what I’m into
And I don’t know what I’ve done to me
And as I watch you disappear into the ground
My one mistake was that I never let you down

So I’ll waste my time, and I’ll burn my mind
On Miss Nothing, Miss Everything

Miss Everything

And as I watch you disappear into my head
Well, there’s a man who’s tellin’ me I might be dead

So I’ll waste my time, and I’ll burn my mind
So I’ll waste my time, and I’ll burn my mind
On Miss Nothing, Miss Everything

Broken Hearts and Torn Up Letters...

"Yesterday I lost my closest friend
Yesterday I wanted time to end..."

Just one of those nights where it's best to lie in bed, listen to music, and not speak to anyone.
I'm sure I'll just ruin their day if I did.
I wish things weren't so hard and I wish people were more open with what they're thinking and feeling. I wish I knew what was going through your mind. I wish I knew what anything was about. I wish you weren't so....Don't worry.

I feel like I'm losing everything, like everything is falling apart around me.
I don't think there's been a time I've needed to get away from everyone and everything more than I do now.

God, please save me. From me.

x kukkii.

Dear Me!

I hate it when someone changes suddenly into a person you never thought they would.


Title: Courtesy of Sanket. (:

Me.

Yes, the real me.

I mean what I say. I won't tolerate inappropriate behaviour. I'm a bitch. I'm self-conscious. I'm a coward. I won't say it to your face, but chances are I won't say it behind your back either. You piss me off, I stay pissed off. At you. I love my friends, I tink they're awesome, even if the feelings aren't returned. I don't trust. I won't trust. I've stopped making people my everything. The only person who won't let me down is myself. I keep some promises, I don't keep some. I try to please everyone. If I can't manage a smile, then there is definately something wrong. If I can manage a smile, then there's probably something wrong. If I say something to you, I mean it. I seem two faced, but I just change my mind a lot. I'm forgetful, but I remember the small things. I make assumptions, face the consequences. If I'm a bitch to your face, then I like you enough to think that you deserve the truth. I complain. A lot. And not normally about what's really bothering me. If I don't wanna tell you, I won't tell you. You push me sometimes, and you get pushed away. You push me other times, and you get pulled in. I can't guarantee I'll always be nice. But I can guarantee I won't always be mean. I'm still growing, I'm still learning. I've mastered the art of sarcasm. I've mastered the art of insulting others intelligence. But I still don't always know when it's the right time to say the right thing and who the right person is, so often, I won't say anything at all. I think more than I talk. I don't talk that often though. When I'm silent, don't ever assume to know what I want. If I'm talkative, don't ruin the moment. There's always a song in my head. Music IS my life. I'm addicted. I have withdrawal symptoms when I don't have it. When someone asks me for something, I try my best to get it for them straight away. I never expect the same from others. My parents taught me respect and manners, but I know that they are some of the few parents that do that these days. I try my best to be nice to everyone, but that doesn't mean that people can't piss me off so much that I begin to dislike them. When I dislike someone, they know about it. I love manga, I love anime. I wish I could draw it. My thoughts are never one continuous train. Which has probably been rather evident in this. I'm a grammar and spelling "nazi." I prefer when people are nice. It makes them more beautiful. I find high school annoying, but university seems really exciting. I can't wait to get a job, and I want to love going to work. I love mystery, and I'm always curious to know what's going on, but it annoys me when I don't find out.

Anything else you'd like to know?

Lost in translation ;)

Viel besser glauben.
Das Lassen gehen war solch eine gute Idee.
Ich habe heraus Freunden geholfen, und die ist eine meiner Lieblingssachen, zum zu tun.
Eine plötzliche Realisierung von, wie nah das HSC ist.
73 Tage und Zählung.
11 Wochen.
Zwei Wochen bis Versuche.
Und ich fühle ein bisschen mich geschraubt für sie Haha.
Möchten zu TPR hören.
Möchten Pocky essen.
Möchten VK, BC und alle andere aufpassen, die Sanket benötigt, um mich zu erhalten! *hint hint* Haha

Haha I translated back into english to check it, and though the general message can be achieved, it is very much lost in translation (:
Oh and very excited about uni (:

A.D.D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yhLa_wV0Io&feature=related

I'm liking the color, I'm liking the bold
And I've got an attitude, you bet I'll be rude
I like getting crazy, I'm liking the toys
Yeah, I love loud noise

Am I making you nervous? Am I making you fear?
I know that your anxious, so come over here
And look at my makeup, play with my hair
Take a peek under

I'm young and I'm easily bored
Hey, hey, that's what the night is for
I've got A.D.D, so don't mess with me
'Cause I'm young and I'm easily bored
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Owww!

I live for excitement, do you live for the ride?
Let's kiss for your camera, and then I'll decide
I'm attracted to chaos, attracted to rage
And I might offend you

See, I like to play nice, so I can be rude
I might be too forward, did I tell you too soon?
That I like the charade and I like to impose
Get me a drink

I'm young and I'm easily bored
Hey, hey, that's what the night is for
I've got A.D.D, so don't mess with me
'Cause I'm young and I'm easily bored

Ohhh Ohhh
Don't ya, don't ya, don't ya, try to reason with me
Don't ya, don't ya, don't ya, try to reason with me
I'm drunk so now I'm easily bored
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Owww!

I'm young and I'm easily bored
Hey, hey, that's what the night is for
I've got A.D.D, so don't mess with me
'Cause I'm young and I'm easily bored

Love drunk, that's what the night is for
Love drunk, well I'm easily bored
So baby,
Don't ya, don't ya, don't ya, try to reason with me
Don't ya, don't ya, don't ya, try to reason with me
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Owww!
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Owww!
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh Owww!