My fatal flaw?

"you have a big personality, it clouds the better of u."

Not quite sure what it means, or how to take it. Some interpretations would be nice x)

Well...

Do you miss me when I’m gone?
Do you sometimes feel like there’s something missing when I’m not there?
Have I made any sort of impact on you, on your life?
Could you live without me?
Could you know I’m out there, knowing that I was just a phone call away?
What would you do if we randomly met on the street in 4, 5 years time?
Do you think of me when we haven’t spoken for some time?

Essentially, I’m asking, what am I to you?

Don't act like you know me
Because truth is that you don't

It'd just be nice to hear SOMETHING from you.

Fuck, if this is it, then just say it. I'm really really getting sick of waiting around for something from you when all you've been doing is ignoring me. And I mean that both emotionally and physically.

I'm fucking sorry okay?!?!?!

x)

A whole week free. To study -.-

I really need to get out and go somewhere other than school.
But I need money for that -.-

It'd also be nice to have a proper lunch once in a while, I'm sick of only eating breakfast and dinner -.-

Wow, this was meant to be a not depressing post. Failed at that.

Unsurprisingly.



TPR ♥

.hgiS

.uoy ssim I

Ohhhh...

I get it now!

It's not relationships or friendships that bring drama, it's PEOPLE -.-

Soo over it.

Just gotta pick who's worth going through the drama for then hey.

NB. Please don't rant to me when I've just said I'm not getting in the middle.
I'm sick of being your 'go to girl' whenever something happens with everyone. If you've got a problem with someone, just come out and god damn say it! -.-

hmph.

It's been a week.
How long are you gonna keep this up?
Just wondering...

Scared of Lonely

I'm in this fight and I'm swinging and my arms are getting tired
I'm trying to beat this emptiness but I'm running out of time
I'm sinking in the sand and I can't barely stand
I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely

I try to be patient but I'm hurting deep inside
And I can't keep waiting, I need comfort late at night
And I can't find my way, won't you lead me home?
'Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely, I'm scared of lonely

I cry at night 'cause my baby's too far to be by my side
To wipe away these tears of mine so I hold my pillow tight
To imagine you I'll stretch your hand looking for mine
'Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I need your break when nobody is around
'Cause I'm tired of this emptiness
I think I'm drowning, I can't be lonely
And I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of be the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely, I'm scared of lonely




There's been a lot of lyrics recently, I've noticed. I guess I just want to say something, and I don't feel like I can say anything anymore.

Huh.

You have to admit. It's kinda depressing.

No wonder I gave up.

The weather matches my mood at the moment...

Konoyo No Uta

Futawo futawoo
Taichi no futa ho
Kaze ho ira koo
Hikari abite

Hoshi wa matataki
Mochi wa kirameku
Fuwa fuwa kururin
Negai komete

Futa wo futa hoo
Sekai no futawo
Dokomade ikko
Sorawo aoite

Hitomo furunoe
Mushimo habataki
Fuwa fuwa kururin
Omoi nosete

Fuwa fuwa kururin
Ashita wa kitto
Fuwa fuwa kururin
Sorani todoku

Ennui Kibun

biroodo neko no o
shinpin no kutsu de fun jatta
sainan da wa!
Aa!
Aa, Aaaa!


kyou wa daiji na you na no desu
fuman o
itte iru
baai de wa nai wa

ring, ring, morning, naridasu kikai on
kirai suki kirai
jirenma no beddo no naka de
kirai suki kirai suki!

shokugo no manzoku ge na
nakigoe ga ashi ni karamitsuku no

sonna koto yori hayaku - ika nai to!

ring, ring, morning
naridasu kikai on
kirai suki kirai
ennui kibun
kagami no mae de
kirai suki kirai suki!

ring, ring, darling, shizuka ni shite tte
kirai suki kirai
jirenma no beddo no naka de
kyou dake tokubetsu kirai suki!

lala, lala, lalalalala...

Suna No Oshiro

sotto nagareru
shiroi
kawaita kumo ga tooru
haiiro no watashi wa
tada jitto kieteiku no wo
miteta

hoshi wo atsumete
tsukuru suna no oshiro ni
watashi no sasayaka na inori
koborete ochiru
sono ashimoto wo
machibuseta nami ga sarau

a world of darkness.
a world of silence.

kiekakaru inori
kaze ni aorare nagara
sore demo tomori tsuzukete
watashi ga ikudo mo motsure nagara
hieyuku te de
tsukuru suna no oshiro wo
machibuseta nami ga sarau

a anata e

Students + dying = ...

Why on earth is studying so bloody difficult! I know I have to do it, or I'll be kicking myself later (Exhibit A: the second english exam)
But I just can't get motivated! -.-


Oh...wait...
maybe it's because watching ヴぁんぱいあ　ないと　and playing Professor Layton is just SOOO much easier? *sigh* more fun too.

Well, HSC, you suck balls. Majorly.
I only have four more exams left.
And after that, I shall have all the time in the world to watch anime and play ds...that is, in between the moving and job hunting...*sigh*

Scratch that - life sucks balls majorly.





Derp.
/rant

sayounara!

Uhhhmmmmm

I know you're angry at me. I know I hurt you.
But I miss you more when you ignore me.
Sorry. I don't wanna push you.
I'll be here when you're ready.
To rage or talk or anything.
And I definitely deserve to be raged at for it.
I'm sorry.


-

Oh and hey you. I know we aren't as close anymore, but I hope you know you can still talk to me if you need to.
I'll be here to listen x)



Right. Love you both.
<3

hmm...

Sometimes it actually kinda scares me how much we seem to have in common...

Fifty-One.

Sorry.

I don't know how many times I'll have to say it, but I will as much as I need to.

I'm seriously sorry that it happened, and I do partially take blame for it.
I didn't mean for offence to be taken, and I actually think it's a nice pic of the two of you. It's like Mel's screen saver - it creeps me out, but I still think it's cool.

I am really, really sorry, and I hate that you took offence to it, or rather that it got to the point where offence could be taken....

I'm very very sorry.

King of Anything.

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I’d say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine
And get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent
Swear you know best
But you expect me to jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction
But you’ll never see
You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down, just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe.

Fifty.

If I Shake It Off Maybe You'll Take It Off

Not that anyone here likely cares, or reads ;)

Sorry, I'm having way too much fun atm with this, but finally, it's a no strings attached argument, and I don't care how it ends, because I don't care about you. People who tell me to fuck off, and say they don't care what I think, they don't mean anything to me. x)

Oh, and JLH, I think getting to know you more is a good thing, cos you've shown that what I used to think of you was wrong. You're a cool guy, and people just don't understand people like us ;)

Oh, and this may be the last one for a while. HSC dictates me not spending so much time here ;)

I swear this time I mean it.

People don't blog anymore.
It sounds weird, but I think it's depressing.
I don't talk much to people anymore, and by reading their blogs it kinda gave me a little peek into their thoughts, and I thought that was interesting, and left me content that I actually have some idea of what's going on anymore. I miss people's blogs.

I don't think people even read mine anymore though...

Leave.

It's amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and lose it all

And it's unnerving
How just one move puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell

I'm not saying
There was nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me

And I'm not saying
We ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me



♪♥ I forgot how much I love Matchbox Twenty (x

Make No Mistake; These Smiles Are Fake;;

I don't know if I want it any more...

Cos when I have it, I just want more...

Though I want it sometimes when I don't have it...

I wanna know what it feels like...









Lostprophets&&P!nk♥

Ldn.

The sun is in the sky
Oh why, oh why
Would I wanna be anywhere else

If you look with your eyes
Everything seems nice
But if you look twice
You'll see that they're all lies

Uncertainty.

Everything feels...different somehow?
Maybe better, I don't know.
Confuzzled.

Dude, I miss you x)

Utopia.

I think everyone has a dream world. Somewhere where everything happens how they want it.
Somewhere they can get away from everything.

I spend more time in my dream world than ever before. It's where I feel real smiles, where I feel wanted.
But my reality has been seeping in too much recently...It's not as good as I used to think, but somehow I like it better this way.
Sadistic and masochistic? I think so (:

yay.

into the background; into the abyss.
Fading.


I don't get why that doesn't hurt?

No sleep for my soul...

Did you think that things would be okay?
That my life could keep going on this way?

Is it really that hard to see?

In some ways, people rely too much on their eyes - but the hurt doesn't always show.
And always, people rely on others to tell them what's happening - when you should be figuring it out yourself.

So if I told you I was ok, would you believe me? Would you look beyond that, look at my actions, look at me? Would you listen to what I'm not saying? Would you go by gut instinct or take my word as fact?

I can't help but be secretive and ambiguous...